I wish I would have known....

I don't think I would be in such a constant state of questioning the crazy within had I known these things earlier in life. I am glad to know now but it really would have changed things. I'd say it would have been helpful in about 5th grade. I may not have fully understood the powerful knowledge I am about to bestow, but it definitely would have altered course. So here is my 40 years of experience to-do or not to-to list to my 10 year old self, and anyone else who cares to listen and may benefit....

-it is ok to not fit in, actually it is best not to - it may feel lonely and weird, but nothing incredible happens in the crowd

-not everyone will like you, no matter what you do

-if it feels wrong, it likely is. pause, reverse and retreat to home base

-do not fear what other people think or say, those who matter won't judge and those who judge don't matter

-everything you say and do can and will be held against you at some point in your lifetime

-the words you speak should be meant for all ears, if you don't want to deal with conflict or issues caused by your words, do not speak them

-how you react to a situation is what defines you as a person

-not all situations require a reaction

-don't speak or act emotionally, it almost always makes things worse to do or say anything while hurt, angry, anxious or sad - sit, reflect, calm yourself

-if your actions or words hurt someone, communicate and apologize - they may not accept or want to receive your apology, give it anyways

-genuine goodness and kindness does not require acknowledgment

-be accountable for your words and actions, humility and the ability to recognize moments of weakness and wrongdoing are not comfortable moments but they usually count the most

-never stand audience to another's pain, you do not have to be superwoman to save those in need but there is always something you can do to help 

-it may hurt now, but stay calm and it will soon be over

-it may be good now, but things can and will change with the blink of an eye so do not take it for granted

-never beg for someone's time or attention - if they want you in their life, you will know without a doubt

-the path less chosen, usually leads to the most beautiful view 

-be willing to stand alone for what you know is right - alone is scary but allowing others to lead you down paths you will have to find your way back from is a risk far scarier

-work hard and on the days it is hard, work harder - it makes life easier

-nothing changes if nothing changes - don't accept what can be made better, including yourself

-be willing to hear every word of criticism - it's okay to make mistakes, but be willing to listen when you do so you can do better and be better

-love is never wasted and it is also not always returned - you can't love someone into loving you

-give but don't be taken for granted - if you always give, you will be left empty with nothing left for yourself

-don't stress about everything at once, nothing gets done that way - a wall is built one brick at a time, focus on one brick before trying to pick up the next

-the past is the past, you can't change it or re-write it, you can only learn from

The simple way to a peaceful life (that wasn't so simple for me to finally figure out)

Keep your mind strong and lead with a genuine heart. The harder it is to do that, the more important it is to do so. 

Life is accepting what we can't change. People. Jobs. Relationships. Family. There are going to be things that just are what they are no matter how much you try. There is strength in knowing it is what it is, even if it isn't what you had hoped or planned for. The real trick to acceptance is, knowing when it has reached that point. Acceptance does not mean failure. Acceptance is knowing that it is ok to let go and move forward to what is meant for you.

As a mother, I wish I would have known a few things too...

-be patient - there is no use being angry or annoyed over spilled milk, I promise you they didn't mean to do it but being angry and yelling will only make them fear making mistakes, teach them it's ok to spill the milk but now there is a mess to clean up which you can do together and next time they will be more careful

-always pause to listen - no matter how busy you are, make sure to listen when they want to tell you their thoughts, even if it seems silly, listen - if you don't make time to listen, they will stop talking

-let them play in the mud - yes you will have clothes to have to rinse out, yes they will likely track it into your house, let them anyway - you only live once, let them live in those moments and be there with them

-what you live is what they learn, they watch you and hear you even when you think they don't - lead them to a life they deserve

-play with them - take every opportunity to play dolls or cars or go kick a ball - get on the floor and play even if your imagination is lacking or you don't know what to do

Well .... that was more than I expected. Hopefully at 40 years old, there is still time for me to not just survive, but live.